…is me. Yeah. I’m in mourning period. This is because two of my office mates are gonna leave the country for taking their master degree. And two of my ‘sisters’ are gonna leave kosan. One is because she’s getting married. And another one is because she has to work in Kalimantan.
Oh gosh, this is so sad. I’m still wondering, why am I the one who being left? Why the people I love and I like so much has to leave me? Is this some kind of curse or what? Because honestly I dont really make good friends in Jakarta. Most of my best friends live outside Jakarta. Hell, my boyfriend left for Makassar. And now those who are still live here have to go? Me hates it.
And then the good Lord tell me this (via Henri Nouwen):
Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.
Guess I have to remind myself many times, that loving (someone) means hurting (myself).