the One who Being Left…

…is me. Yeah. I’m in mourning period. This is because two of my office mates are gonna leave the country for taking their master degree. And two of my ‘sisters’ are gonna leave kosan. One is because she’s getting married. And another one is because she has to work in Kalimantan.

People always leave

Oh gosh, this is so sad. I’m still wondering, why am I the one who being left? Why the people I love and I like so much has to leave me? Is this some kind of curse or what? Because honestly I dont really make good friends in Jakarta. Most of my best friends live outside Jakarta. Hell, my boyfriend left for Makassar. And now those who are still live here have to go? Me hates it.

And then the good Lord tell me this (via Henri Nouwen):

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain.   The greatest pain comes from leaving.  When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.  

Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving.  And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair.  We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

 

Guess I have to remind myself many times, that loving (someone) means hurting (myself).

 

 

 

 

*picture credit

#selfnote

If you cant be grateful for what you have now, you won’t be grateful when you have what you’ve always wanted. Therefore, you need to live every moment. Be thankful for everything you have now. Not later. And don’t ever say something like, “I will be thankful if (bla bla bla)!” No, you wont be thankful later if you cant be thankful now. For example, if you always complain about your job now and think that you can only be please when you have your dream job, then forget it. It’s only illusion. What you can do is stop whining, learn to love your job now and continue to pursue your dreams. Plus, be thankful all the time.
I know sometimes life’s suck. But hey, its only a matter of how you see things. If you have patience, then by the love of God, I guarantee, your life is just fine. Real fine, not I-dont-want-people-to-interupt-my-life fine.

As Henri Nouwen said in “Daily Meditation” (you can get it in your email by click here),

Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let’s be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.