My father passed away two weeks ago.

I still can remember the look of my friend when she told me about that in the midnight. And I remember I felt so really sad but weirdly relieve. My dad has been sick for six years. (Tho all of our neighbours always said he seemed like a healty old man.)

And from that time, my thought and pray always go to my mom. I know she’s the one who feel really lost. Since, she lived with my dad for more than thirty years. It must be hard for her to let him go. Even though my mom looks though and all, I know deep inside it’s not gonna be easy for her to live without my dad. Because I know it’s not for me.

Sometimes at night, when I close my eyes and get ready to sleep, I cried my eyes out. I just missing him so much. The memories of him being a very good dad and my best friend make me feel so sad cause I cant have him as a dad and best friend anymore.

But this is the most sad feeling on why I cry when I remember him: from the moment he stop breathing, he won’t recognize me anymore. And vice-versa. Oh gosh, it’s killing me.

He used to tell me that there’s is no ghost because all dead people won’t recognize the living ones: the family and friends. They belong to another world.

My father belongs to another world right now. Even tho it’s killing me, I know I have to let him go. Because, may it sound cliche, but if God decided that he’s not belong in this cruel and sick world, who am I to say that God is wrong?

So, rest in peace, dad.. My hero, first love, and sometimes partner in crime. I love you and will save all your love for our family.

the coffin